The Death of Wesley Crusher
Thought up by: Talon Kardde
Wesley Must die.

These words have echoed around the world hundreds of times since the dawn of time. Wesley Must Die. But how to kill him? What way would be best to destroy such a monstrosity of humanity?

Several suggestions have been made. Most include the words "Burn the bastard" or something similar. As of yet nobody knows how it should be done, but all people realize, deep in their heart of hearts, that it must come to pass.

The Options

The Phaser
Option number one is to create some sort of malfunction with the normal operation of the phaser. What could be more horrible than to die a firey death due to a phaser blast to the chest? Well, I'm sure that there are a lot of things more horrible. Why don't you email me some ideas?
The Tricorder
Option two. A cleverly disguised bomb? Perhaps lethal radiation emminating from the tricorder kills him in a nasty explosion? You decide.
Option three. Wesley goes insane. In a mad rush, he douses himself in extremely explosive liquid, then jumps into a toaster oven! Perhaps he sticks his head into a light socket! Perhaps he jumps into a juicemaster! What can you come up with?

Your Ideas
Now for your suggestions.

Your Name:--
Your Email:-
Wesley Should die of:
--------- Phaser complications
--------- Tricorder Difficulties
--------- Mental Problems
--------- Some other Devious event which I will dictate to you.

The Details of the event:

Shut Up Wesley

Once 100 suggestions are made, the Mind Cafe staff, consisting of Myself (John Smith), Adam Introspect, Broccoli, and the rest of the country of Shaddenfreud will vote on the best way to kill wesley. Sentence will then be carried out, cameras flashing, perhaps even a video version, all of which will be posted here. So make your suggestion the one that wins! Some of the suggestions we have received include:

    "Wesley's phaser explodes unexpectedly when he is screwing with it, leaving him in a state of near death for a month until gangrene finally kills him."

    "Worf should pick him up and snap his back like bane did to Batman. That would be way cool!"

    "Wesley should 'accidently' fall into a vat of acid. Luckily, he climbs out in time to save himself, but trips into a vat of CO2 which freezes him solid. Then he 'somehow' manages to get out, but trips again, falling to the floor, where he shatters. Then the cast of the TV show is standing, smiling, above him. Data has a suspiciously guilty look on his face."

Help us kill him.

Also see the Wesley's Many Moods page.

|The Mind Cafe|Stories|Images|What Rocks|Downloads|